Words of comfort

In life we as people tend to say things to comfort those around us. We are quick to offer help and support in hopes that no one takes us up on the offer. We have lives of our own, but yet offer to be there when/if someone needs us. How could one really be there, if they don’t truly plan to be there? Ig one has a lot going on in there lives? If one only says those words to appear to care…

People have priorities within their lives, and if you call needed help that will cause a shift. That person then has to shift things around if they “really” plan to help you. If not you will then be waiting and feel some type of way about that person.

You’ll never know how a person truly feels when you offer them help/support in their time of need and you fail to follow through. No one is perfect, but as a person we have to be able to back up those words of comfort.

I’ve had my fair share of people saying they will be there if I needed them, but when I called no one was around or available. So that in turn made me not ask for help no matter how much I needed it. Yes it hurt because I had faith in those people. Now at the same time I’ve offered help to others, and life happened for me as to where I couldn’t be there. I know the pain and hurt saying you’ll be there and not hurts. So I try my hardest to offer those words of comfort and to follow through, but if I can’t I still reach out.

Words of comfort are just that words to comfort a person when they are down and out. We as people only know what a person tells us but we don’t know how they feel mentally. So all I ask is for us as people to use our words of comfort only if we can follow through.

People Pleaser…

When you think about life and the things that hold you back, what do you come up with? Random thoughts about what might happen, what others may think or say, or how would this look to others. You need to start asking yourself how would it make ME feel, how would I look doing this, or what do I think the outcome would be.

Start to think more in Me/I terms and you will enjoy life a little bit more. Walking around trying to be a people pleaser, when the one person that needs to be pleased is suffering. You are holding yourself back from being who you truly are, let go of the thoughts about what others may say and start living for YOU.

It took me getting my second divorce to say fuck it I’m doing me. I stayed for as long as I did for a number of reasons and one of those reasons being, I didn’t want people to judge me after getting another divorce. I walked away from my husband in 2007, but didn’t legally “leave” him until Nov. 2015. Since that I told myself I’m doing me, fuck who doesn’t like it.

Each year I gain more strength to do the things I’ve put off worrying about how others might react. Oh well, I’m happy my children are happy and healthy so it’s all good. I am married for the third time, third times a charm.. LOL

While you’re out there trying to please others, who’s trying to please you? It could be a person clear in front of you, but you can’t see them through the cloud you have placed on your head. Take a step back and ask for random things and see how many people come through for you. How many of those same people will go above and beyond for you the way you do for them? If that number is less the the amount of people you are pleasing, you need to fall back and push the fuck on through. Never allow a person to take advantage of your kindness, or to use it as a weakness. Learn to say
NO, Hell NO, Fuck NO, NO Got damn it… Give others the same energy they give you if they could care less about what you are in need of, then it’s only right for you to have 0 fucks about what they need.

Relax-Release-Rejuvenate Good Vibes Only

Transparency part 3: Endometriosis

Baby when you talk about pain talk about endometriosis. Endometriosis is
is when the tissue that makes up the uterine lining (the lining of the womb) is present on other organs inside your body. Endometriosis is usually found in the lower abdomen, or pelvis, but can appear anywhere in the body. Women with endometriosis often have lower abdominal pain, pain with periods, or pain with sexual intercourse, and may report having a hard time getting pregnant.

It will show it’s ugly face in each woman differently but it all comes down to pain. After giving birth to my second daughter things took a turn. It went from me cramping on my cycle, to me not being able to walk or move day 1 of my cycle. I began to have to take pain pills because the pain was that bad, i would have to be put out of work for at least 3 days due to the pain. I missed orders to change commands because I was limited duty.

I would go back and forth to the doctor for the pain, all they kept doing was pushing pain pills on to me the next stronger than the last. I got to a point where I was like enough is enough. Painful during my cycle, I walked around in pain. It was painful to have sex and even after. I would rather give natural birth again rather than have sex. so you know it was very painful. I asked my doctor all my options because I’ve done them all. I was on the pill, had an IUD, on the patch, on Depo, placed into medical-menopause nothing helped. I told them if I had a hysterectomy then problem solved. It took them some time to agree to it, mentally I’ve given up all hop on having a third child. I go in for all the lab work and all that good stuff. My nurse comes in the room and tells me she has good news and bad news for me, so I’m confused and I say what’s the bad news. She says we can’t move forward with your surgery, I’m looking confused and say so what’s the good news. All excited she says you’re pregnant I just stare. I’m happy but mentally I’ve given up so I’m in a daze of shock.

I have my third child and getting my tubes cut and burned my good friend endometriosis reminds me they are still there. Now the pain is on overload and they have me back on the patch. I check-in to my new command and 2 weeks later we are going underway for 3 moths. UGH! While on the deployment I begin to have clots, so I was sick for almost half the time I was out. It took until 2012 to say I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I have my 1st surgery which was a supracervical hysterectomy fancy word for removal of the uterus, I was left with a cervical stump. I also found out that no only did I have endometriosis I also had adnomiosis, pain on-top of pain. After my surgery I fell into a deep depression, I sent my kids to stay with my parents, I didn’t get out of bed, I didn’t shower, I didn’t eat, I wouldn’t answer the phone or reply to any messages. I felt less of a woman and I felt what man would want a woman who couldn’t give him a child. My mom and younger sister would come to my house and MAKE me get up and all that good stuff. My mom would have me walk around Walmart and Piggly Wiggly daily, just to get me up and out. At the time I hated that, but looking back I needed that.

Let’s fast forward, I bet you’re thing things began to look up for me since I had my uterus removed. Welp! guess again… I was still having pain during sex and it was at it’s all time high, pain when I got a pa smear. My VA doctor would take me back down the path of pain pills, creams, lotions, and different birth control before I had my 2nd surgery. March of 2018 I had a Salpingo-Oophorectomy, fancy way of saying removal of both fallopian tubes and right ovary. I had scared tissue from 2004, when I got my tubes cut and burned and the endometriosis had spread. After this surgery I couldn’t allow myself to fall into a depressive state I had to keep busy, and it was the same time I was writing my uncles obituary. Each day is different I am in the process of my 3rd and final surgery, due to my left ovary causing me pain and discomfort. I understand the fact that my doctors don’t want me to go into menopause at 39, but the way this pain is set-up I’ll take hot flashes any day. My body and natural smell has changed since my surgery in March. I know many women who suffer of either endometriosis, adnomiosis, or any other female issues. There is sunshine after the pain so ladies keep pushing and see it through. Blessings upon you and peace be with you.

Getting To Know Me!!

Who am I you ask? I am a daughter, sister, mother, wife, and friend. I am a woman on the journey of self-love. I am here to share a variety of topics, some are common while others people shy away from.

I will speak about life’s ups and downs. Share with you what it’s like to live with PTSD and Fibromyalgia. No day is the same but each day is a blessing. As we move forward in life we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zones. This for me is my first step, one I have been putting off for nearly 2 years.

Pleas join me on here and enjoy the reads. #Namaste #Mudita #Positivevibes #Positiveenergy #positivefrequencies