Words of comfort

In life we as people tend to say things to comfort those around us. We are quick to offer help and support in hopes that no one takes us up on the offer. We have lives of our own, but yet offer to be there when/if someone needs us. How could one really be there, if they don’t truly plan to be there? Ig one has a lot going on in there lives? If one only says those words to appear to care…

People have priorities within their lives, and if you call needed help that will cause a shift. That person then has to shift things around if they “really” plan to help you. If not you will then be waiting and feel some type of way about that person.

You’ll never know how a person truly feels when you offer them help/support in their time of need and you fail to follow through. No one is perfect, but as a person we have to be able to back up those words of comfort.

I’ve had my fair share of people saying they will be there if I needed them, but when I called no one was around or available. So that in turn made me not ask for help no matter how much I needed it. Yes it hurt because I had faith in those people. Now at the same time I’ve offered help to others, and life happened for me as to where I couldn’t be there. I know the pain and hurt saying you’ll be there and not hurts. So I try my hardest to offer those words of comfort and to follow through, but if I can’t I still reach out.

Words of comfort are just that words to comfort a person when they are down and out. We as people only know what a person tells us but we don’t know how they feel mentally. So all I ask is for us as people to use our words of comfort only if we can follow through.

Anxiety…

When anxiety begins to get the best of you, you don’t know what to do, think, or how to feel. Your mind begins to race and you have no reason why. The simplest thought, smell, touch, or sight of something can trigger a past memory, and from there you begin to freak out and have no clear reason as to why.

I must say for two nights out of this week I’ve jumped out of my sleep and my heart was racing fast. Half asleep but scared shitless, I sit up in bed, clean up in the house, I pretty much do anything to keep from having to close my eyes again. Trust me when it’s time for me to go to work I’m dog tired, but once I get off I can sleep fine during the day.

It has been a few years since I went through this, and as of now I am unclear as to what triggered it. The old saying out of sight out of mind, clearly only works for the sight and not the mind. When dealing with anxiety it’s like our minds are always racing. We have so many thoughts running at once and clearly can’t keep up. My anxiety has kept me from doing a lot of fun things, like now I have to get myself mentally prepared for next weekend. It is my Colleges homecoming and of course I would like to go, but my mind is racing on the what if this or that happens.

I can’t handle large crowds or people being so close in my personal space. I’m trying to get my sister’s and cousins to go with me, that way I can position myself in between them. I have let my mental and chronic pain issues run my life for years, and I’ve told myself 2019 I have to take back my life.


Regaining the strength to step-out and just enjoying life is something I truly miss. I feel like my mind holds me hostage and keeps me in a little comfort zone. I’ve set a major goal with baby goals in between and I must see them through. I have to push through and never lose heart.

Who Do You Know??

If you asked 20 people how they got there job, half if not most will say I know such and such. In today’s society in order to get ahead you seem to have to know the “right” people. It’s sad and unfair but it’s the harsh truth.

Outside of about 3 jobs I’ve ever had in my lifetime I got them on my own, other than that I got them based off of me knowing someone. I’m a firm believer that when you network you increase your net-worth. I teach that lesson to my kids, but the key to the lesson is this: The who you may know gets you through the door, but what you know keeps you there.

When I meet people I feed them knowledge, I want them to know and understand, in a small town it’s not always what you know but rather who you know. One phone could change a person’s who life, so I always tell people be mindful of how you treat a person because you’ll never know when your paths may cross again.

Funny how life has a way of reminding us of just that. I’ve met a lot of people, and one way or another our paths cross. Between me working for the local school district, involved at my children’s schools, the number of organizations I’m involved in I’m destine to cross paths with a few people but when I do I just smile. Karma has a way to reversing roles.

When you meet a person remember the vibe and energy you give off will be the first think that person remembers mentally. Leave them with something to remember you by.

Suffering in Slience, While Walking in the Dark. By: Lateka Starnes-Council

For the past 4 years I have been working on my book. I would start, stop, start, stop and i just got to a point where I wasn’t truly ready to share my story. After following through with my blog (something I’ve been putting off as well) I now know my story can help someone else. I lost hope when I didn’t know how to publish, who to trust to edit and so forth. So today I will share snip-it of my story keep in mind it hasn’t been edited.

“Suffering In Slience, While Walking In The Dark”

“Memories bring you peace, while nightmares will always haunt you” LS.

They say time heals all wounds, so tell me when will mine heal?

Taking a walk down memory lane could be good to some extent, based on the memories you may have. Do you know what it feels like to hate the way you look or the way you are shaped? Well I do and I did for such a very long time. Try to imagine being 1 of 50 females on an aircraft carrier, now imagine sexual jokes and gestures being told to you, about you and around you. Yea! A living nightmare. I thought by leaving the command and returning sometime later, the problem would be gone. You know out of sight out of mind. I thought wrong, I guess my return brought things back.

Imagine a person who is suppose to insure nothing happens to you, is the one that hurts you. Who do you trust? Where do you go? What do you do? First you sexual harass me, then you sexual assault me. Broken, bruised and confused I confided into one person, who became my outlet, strength and guidance.

When I made a formal report to my chain of command, to be told don’t report the matter any further they will handle it. Yep! They sure did, handled the rest of deployment by sending me TAD. The words they said to me sit with me til thus day. “He has more to lose than my reputation, he out ranks you, he has a career, he has and wife and child, you will be ok. Suck it up and go to work.”

Since that day in 2000, my life, trust and outlook on the military and men had changed. Life for me since that time hasn’t been a cake walk. Two suicide attempts, fucked up relationships, angry issues, violent outbursts, shitty marriages, but through it all I never lost faith or sight of what I am searching for. Don’t get me wrong I’ve slipped but now I’m on the right path for inner peace, self-happiness, understanding, self-love and forgiveness.

It takes time and strength to be willing to share, I’m at a point where it’s time to heal. So I’m sharing a part of my story with you. “Never Lose Heart”

Vibes & Energy

We meet people everyday, how do you form a bond with a person? I go off the vibe I get from a person,people give off vibes and energy and may not even know it.

When I was in my early 20’s I didn’t pay those things any attention and things happened back to back. I mean shit on top of shit, I was like I gotta have the worst luck ever. I met a lady or should I say a lady met me. I would be in Walmart and we would always cross paths, and she would say things in passing. He isn’t the one for you, people have two faces and so forth it would scare me to the point where I would get my palm read.

I’m very superstitious and yes I believe in dark magic. I burn sage throughout my house, I lay salt across my front door, I have coffee grinds in a sock in my dresser drawer, I have dream catchers throughout my house, yes I believe. Anyway after getting my palm read I went home and I just sat and thought about what was told to me. Then I made a few small changes within my life. I got my 1st divorce and cut a few people out of my life. Slowly things began to change, you know they say you attract what energy you give off, and at the time I was giving off negative energy and that’s just what was brought into my life.

As time went on, I met a young lady that could read cards. So of course I got my cards read. The two things she said to me that stood out was, the man you are with isn’t your knight and the move you plan to make isn’t the best one. Boy oh boy was she right. I feel all things are in the eyes and minds of the believer, but be mindful of the vibes and energy you give off. If you should ever come in contact with me, you will see I give off nothing but good vibes and energy despite me not smiling all the time.

People will enter your life for a number of reasons at the oddest of times, but look back on those moments and find the lesson that was taught to you. I have a friend that I met for the very first time in 2007, and I mean it was odd. We later became Facebook friends. If you saw the way we act around each other you would think we’ve grown up together. We shared each others highs and lows by phone and messages. We saw each other again face to face spring break of 2017 and the bond has gotten even closer. We connected on a spiritual level, and for that she is and will always be my spiritual sistah. Life will try to take you down, but it’s up to you and those closest to you to keep you grounded. Be blessed

You Don’t Pay Me Enough…

On the days that I come to work and get kicked, swung at or even cursed at in the back of my mind I say, “you don’t pay me enough for this bullshit.” I work as an Interventionist for 3rd grade this year. My passion is to one day become a special education teacher. I’ve put this off long enough and it’s about time that I faced my calling rather than to continue to run away from it.

Teachers and Educational (teacher’s) aides catch hell everyday all day, but some parents don’t see the problem. They are the problem, how you treat your child at home is how they will act at school. No, they can’t hit their parent back, so they come to school and hit another student and or teacher. They can’t curse their parent out, so they come to school to do it. 9 times out of 10 when a student misbehaves in class something is going on at home, the child is being bullied, and or the child can’t read.

I enjoy working with students that fall into those categories, It’s a challenge but I know each day will be different. I’ve been kicked, spit on, punched, pushed, and called every name in the book. Each one of those students are now my “best friends” granted I had to restrain them. I tell each student no matter the age, when I say good morning, I should hear it back. If it’s a class of 10 I need to hear 10 voices, my older kids have a mini boot camp session when they misbehave. jumping jacks, running in place and walking in a straight line. I teach my babies discipline and structure, because they already have a problem with authority (parents).

I allow the parents to observe their child and watch them turn up, and then they see how I redirect their child. As parents we want to give in to our children to keep them happy, but in the long run we are hurting them. Each one of my children know the rules, if i have to leave from where every I’m at because you want to act an ass at school, I will beat your ass in the same place. No questions straight on sight…

Parents expect for the teachers and teachers aide to do everything, but it starts at home. trust me none of us get paid enough to try to duck from getting hit. I for one know damn sure I don’t, but the difference between me and several others is I let them know out the gate. Your attitude compared to mine won’t get you far, you will go from 0 to 100, but I will go 0 to 2000 and give out all the free smoke. They laugh about it and quickly see my nice mama voice turns into a “mean mama” voice. I have to tell teachers if you know said student reacts this way, why come at them in an aggressive manner?

I’ve watched many videos of students hitting teachers, cursing them out, or even teachers fighting back. What do you want us to do when we’ve told the principal, written the student up, and spoke with the parent? When you see a teacher fighting back, that teacher has had enough and said fuck this job. I live and work in South Carolina and when I say I don’t get paid enough, I mean just that. The pay here sucks and that is one of the reasons I’ve put off becoming a Special Education Teacher it’s not worth it, but when I see former students I’ve help redirect their anger and aggression that shows me I am doing something right. My goal is to get licensed in South Carolina but to take my skills and my passion to the West Coast. Parents when you meet your child’s teacher listen to how they speak about your child, look at their classroom. Always remember some teach because of their passion, while others teach fro a check. #iteach

People Pleaser…

When you think about life and the things that hold you back, what do you come up with? Random thoughts about what might happen, what others may think or say, or how would this look to others. You need to start asking yourself how would it make ME feel, how would I look doing this, or what do I think the outcome would be.

Start to think more in Me/I terms and you will enjoy life a little bit more. Walking around trying to be a people pleaser, when the one person that needs to be pleased is suffering. You are holding yourself back from being who you truly are, let go of the thoughts about what others may say and start living for YOU.

It took me getting my second divorce to say fuck it I’m doing me. I stayed for as long as I did for a number of reasons and one of those reasons being, I didn’t want people to judge me after getting another divorce. I walked away from my husband in 2007, but didn’t legally “leave” him until Nov. 2015. Since that I told myself I’m doing me, fuck who doesn’t like it.

Each year I gain more strength to do the things I’ve put off worrying about how others might react. Oh well, I’m happy my children are happy and healthy so it’s all good. I am married for the third time, third times a charm.. LOL

While you’re out there trying to please others, who’s trying to please you? It could be a person clear in front of you, but you can’t see them through the cloud you have placed on your head. Take a step back and ask for random things and see how many people come through for you. How many of those same people will go above and beyond for you the way you do for them? If that number is less the the amount of people you are pleasing, you need to fall back and push the fuck on through. Never allow a person to take advantage of your kindness, or to use it as a weakness. Learn to say
NO, Hell NO, Fuck NO, NO Got damn it… Give others the same energy they give you if they could care less about what you are in need of, then it’s only right for you to have 0 fucks about what they need.

Relax-Release-Rejuvenate Good Vibes Only