You Don’t Pay Me Enough…

On the days that I come to work and get kicked, swung at or even cursed at in the back of my mind I say, “you don’t pay me enough for this bullshit.” I work as an Interventionist for 3rd grade this year. My passion is to one day become a special education teacher. I’ve put this off long enough and it’s about time that I faced my calling rather than to continue to run away from it.

Teachers and Educational (teacher’s) aides catch hell everyday all day, but some parents don’t see the problem. They are the problem, how you treat your child at home is how they will act at school. No, they can’t hit their parent back, so they come to school and hit another student and or teacher. They can’t curse their parent out, so they come to school to do it. 9 times out of 10 when a student misbehaves in class something is going on at home, the child is being bullied, and or the child can’t read.

I enjoy working with students that fall into those categories, It’s a challenge but I know each day will be different. I’ve been kicked, spit on, punched, pushed, and called every name in the book. Each one of those students are now my “best friends” granted I had to restrain them. I tell each student no matter the age, when I say good morning, I should hear it back. If it’s a class of 10 I need to hear 10 voices, my older kids have a mini boot camp session when they misbehave. jumping jacks, running in place and walking in a straight line. I teach my babies discipline and structure, because they already have a problem with authority (parents).

I allow the parents to observe their child and watch them turn up, and then they see how I redirect their child. As parents we want to give in to our children to keep them happy, but in the long run we are hurting them. Each one of my children know the rules, if i have to leave from where every I’m at because you want to act an ass at school, I will beat your ass in the same place. No questions straight on sight…

Parents expect for the teachers and teachers aide to do everything, but it starts at home. trust me none of us get paid enough to try to duck from getting hit. I for one know damn sure I don’t, but the difference between me and several others is I let them know out the gate. Your attitude compared to mine won’t get you far, you will go from 0 to 100, but I will go 0 to 2000 and give out all the free smoke. They laugh about it and quickly see my nice mama voice turns into a “mean mama” voice. I have to tell teachers if you know said student reacts this way, why come at them in an aggressive manner?

I’ve watched many videos of students hitting teachers, cursing them out, or even teachers fighting back. What do you want us to do when we’ve told the principal, written the student up, and spoke with the parent? When you see a teacher fighting back, that teacher has had enough and said fuck this job. I live and work in South Carolina and when I say I don’t get paid enough, I mean just that. The pay here sucks and that is one of the reasons I’ve put off becoming a Special Education Teacher it’s not worth it, but when I see former students I’ve help redirect their anger and aggression that shows me I am doing something right. My goal is to get licensed in South Carolina but to take my skills and my passion to the West Coast. Parents when you meet your child’s teacher listen to how they speak about your child, look at their classroom. Always remember some teach because of their passion, while others teach fro a check. #iteach

Tolerance

When I look back on the things that has happened within my life, I take a deeper look at my tolerance level. Tolerance is the key to how others treat you and view you.

When I was in my early 20’s I had 0 tolerance for anything. You say the wrong thing, look at me funny, hell breathe to hard I was jumping on you. I was very aggressive and violent, it was a daily thing. I went to sleep mad and woke up mad. Mad at the world, as if everyone has did me wrong. It took me sometime to admit to myself that I needed help and that I had a problem. At that time people didn’t really want to be around me, out of fear of me jumping on them.

Once a person can admit to their self that they have a problem, that is the first step of mental well being. I’ve been in counseling many times, but I wasn’t ready for the help. My body would be there but my mind wouldn’t. I would just sit there looking and listening, while the counselor tried to engage me. I started working with children that had behavior issues, and one day i told my client in order to change the way you respond to an action you have to change the way you think. Ding! I told him something that was told to me, when I refused to engage. I heard what she was saying, but I just didn’t wish to speak with her. I then told myself I can’t help others if I don’t help myself first.

I have several reasons why I don’t engage when I first begin counseling: 1. Change, I don’t do well with change. 2. I don’t know you, I have to feel a person out before I engage them. 3. Social Worker, my time dealing with the VA I’ve seen many come and many go so I wait to see how long they will be there. 4. Retelling, I dislike having to retell my situation 5. Non-military, I dislike talking to someone that hasn’t served because while I’m reliving my trauma I have to stop and explain what a word means and it’s one of my triggers and I shut down.

Over time I have built my tolerance level up and granted I still don’t take any shit, but I don’t jump on a person I kill them with a smile and words. I have learned my triggers as well as ways to tolerate things, if I feel overwhelmed I know how to turn and walk away.