Your Name…

Your name is the name given to you at birth, some of us like our names while others don’t. Your name holds your further and you don’t even realize that at a young age. People learn your name before they learn the person. What a person says about you once your name has been called, will always stick in another person’s head.

Think about what others might say about you, just from hearing your name being called… For me there’s a long list both positive and negative (lol). I’m stuck up, I’m highly educated, I’m mean, I’m caring, full of knowledge, savage, the list could go on. Now take a step back and think about this. The vibe and energy you give off to a person is based on a few things; your environment, the setting, your mood, their mood, how and why you met. Not two people will meet the same you, so in order to do that you at first must be balanced and have inner peace. Once you achieve those two things, all else will fall into place.

Your name determines your future! Keep in mind the same people you meet today may cross your path 5 years from now. The setting will be different they may have information you might need, run a business you might want to work for. Some people forget names but they remember faces, while others remember names. Your name could make or break the deal. I know a lot of the jobs I’ve had I got based off someone knowing my name, people talk and when they talk they describe you as a whole and what they know of you. The next person may say okay sounds like my cup of tea, while the next might be saying oh no bad news.

Your name is your brand. What you put out will determine what you get in return. Take pride in your name and the vibe you give off. Blessing upon your and peace within you.

Am I Enough???

As women we ask ourselves this question day in and day out. Hell at times we don’t know. Our mate might say or do little things that will cause us to question am I enough. We live in a society where women are judged off their looks, body shape, hair, type of job , clothes they wear, the man they are with , how their kid’s look act and dress, the list goes on and on.

We as woman value child bearing, yes the ability to bring another life into this world. Now don’t get it twisted, not every woman wants a child. It’s just the thought that I can have a child. Now take a step back and think about the women who can’t bear children for whatever reason. That question Am I Enough? Lives in her head, because she will always wonder if the man she is with wants a child.

I am a mother of three beautiful daughters, but I want another child. I want to share that bond with my husband, but I can’t so of course I ask myself Am I Enough? We as women pride ourselves on the way we raise our children and that bond we share. I’ve been blessed to have two children since my rape, but trust me it did a number on my body. I went so many years in pain with the thought of, if I hold out I’ll be able to have another child. The pain over took my body so I had surgery #1 in 2012. I went into major depression, because I know longer had a uterus, so I felt less of a woman. You would think the pain would poof disappear, welp it didn’t.

I went a few more years since 2012 in pain, and gave up the hope of every having another child. In 2018 I had surgery #2 and that didn’t make me feel any better mentally. Now I’m with out a uterus, Fallopian tubes and one ovary. My husband has been so great with dealing with the mood swings. lol

The thought of me not being able to bear his child still sits in the back of my mind. Am I enough? As women we stress and overthink things that only we imagine, you may not know that we have those thoughts, because we know our flaws and how they impact our day to day. Since my second surgery it has been on my heart to adopt a child and I have now put forward the steps to learning more about the adoption process. I know there is a child out there that needs a loving home.

To all my ladies out there, we have our flaws and we know we can’t fix them all. Never lose hope or heart YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Anxiety…

When anxiety begins to get the best of you, you don’t know what to do, think, or how to feel. Your mind begins to race and you have no reason why. The simplest thought, smell, touch, or sight of something can trigger a past memory, and from there you begin to freak out and have no clear reason as to why.

I must say for two nights out of this week I’ve jumped out of my sleep and my heart was racing fast. Half asleep but scared shitless, I sit up in bed, clean up in the house, I pretty much do anything to keep from having to close my eyes again. Trust me when it’s time for me to go to work I’m dog tired, but once I get off I can sleep fine during the day.

It has been a few years since I went through this, and as of now I am unclear as to what triggered it. The old saying out of sight out of mind, clearly only works for the sight and not the mind. When dealing with anxiety it’s like our minds are always racing. We have so many thoughts running at once and clearly can’t keep up. My anxiety has kept me from doing a lot of fun things, like now I have to get myself mentally prepared for next weekend. It is my Colleges homecoming and of course I would like to go, but my mind is racing on the what if this or that happens.

I can’t handle large crowds or people being so close in my personal space. I’m trying to get my sister’s and cousins to go with me, that way I can position myself in between them. I have let my mental and chronic pain issues run my life for years, and I’ve told myself 2019 I have to take back my life.


Regaining the strength to step-out and just enjoying life is something I truly miss. I feel like my mind holds me hostage and keeps me in a little comfort zone. I’ve set a major goal with baby goals in between and I must see them through. I have to push through and never lose heart.

Who Do You Know??

If you asked 20 people how they got there job, half if not most will say I know such and such. In today’s society in order to get ahead you seem to have to know the “right” people. It’s sad and unfair but it’s the harsh truth.

Outside of about 3 jobs I’ve ever had in my lifetime I got them on my own, other than that I got them based off of me knowing someone. I’m a firm believer that when you network you increase your net-worth. I teach that lesson to my kids, but the key to the lesson is this: The who you may know gets you through the door, but what you know keeps you there.

When I meet people I feed them knowledge, I want them to know and understand, in a small town it’s not always what you know but rather who you know. One phone could change a person’s who life, so I always tell people be mindful of how you treat a person because you’ll never know when your paths may cross again.

Funny how life has a way of reminding us of just that. I’ve met a lot of people, and one way or another our paths cross. Between me working for the local school district, involved at my children’s schools, the number of organizations I’m involved in I’m destine to cross paths with a few people but when I do I just smile. Karma has a way to reversing roles.

When you meet a person remember the vibe and energy you give off will be the first think that person remembers mentally. Leave them with something to remember you by.