Am I Enough???

As women we ask ourselves this question day in and day out. Hell at times we don’t know. Our mate might say or do little things that will cause us to question am I enough. We live in a society where women are judged off their looks, body shape, hair, type of job , clothes they wear, the man they are with , how their kid’s look act and dress, the list goes on and on.

We as woman value child bearing, yes the ability to bring another life into this world. Now don’t get it twisted, not every woman wants a child. It’s just the thought that I can have a child. Now take a step back and think about the women who can’t bear children for whatever reason. That question Am I Enough? Lives in her head, because she will always wonder if the man she is with wants a child.

I am a mother of three beautiful daughters, but I want another child. I want to share that bond with my husband, but I can’t so of course I ask myself Am I Enough? We as women pride ourselves on the way we raise our children and that bond we share. I’ve been blessed to have two children since my rape, but trust me it did a number on my body. I went so many years in pain with the thought of, if I hold out I’ll be able to have another child. The pain over took my body so I had surgery #1 in 2012. I went into major depression, because I know longer had a uterus, so I felt less of a woman. You would think the pain would poof disappear, welp it didn’t.

I went a few more years since 2012 in pain, and gave up the hope of every having another child. In 2018 I had surgery #2 and that didn’t make me feel any better mentally. Now I’m with out a uterus, Fallopian tubes and one ovary. My husband has been so great with dealing with the mood swings. lol

The thought of me not being able to bear his child still sits in the back of my mind. Am I enough? As women we stress and overthink things that only we imagine, you may not know that we have those thoughts, because we know our flaws and how they impact our day to day. Since my second surgery it has been on my heart to adopt a child and I have now put forward the steps to learning more about the adoption process. I know there is a child out there that needs a loving home.

To all my ladies out there, we have our flaws and we know we can’t fix them all. Never lose hope or heart YOU ARE ENOUGH!

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eccentricrebel1

I am a Disabled Female Navy Veteran, I am a woman with an open mind with a voice of opinion. This is my out let a way to share my thoughts.

One thought on “Am I Enough???”

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