Many may know my name but very few know my story. So today I am here to share a part of me with you, I know by sharing my story I can help someone else.
I live with fibromyalgia, which is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals. Know one really knows what causes fibromyalgia, but symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.
Now that everyone has a text book understanding of the condition let’s go. I was raped at 19 while serving on my 1st shipboard deployment in the Navy. After that day in October of 2000, my body has never been the same. I would begin to have muscle aches, joint aches, shoulder hurting and dislocating, sleeping different, bowel moments out of whack, attitude and behavior changes just to name a few. Over the time I would be back and forth to the doctor and they would say, “oh it’s only chronic pain” well duh.
It took me getting out of the Navy July of 2006 and going to a private doctor, for them to really read my military medical record to tell me that the Navy diagnosed me with fibromyalgia since 2001, here it is 2008. It’s safe to say that I am rated at 50% by the Department of Veterans affairs for it.
Life today, each day I wake up and I have to tell myself you can do it. I wake up with stiff joints and muscles, feeling tired and drained. It takes me longer to do something as simple as brushing my teeth, due to the energy it takes away from me. Simple things that you can do in know time, would take me a few minutes. I have days where I have brain fog everything seems so cloudy, I can remember but then I don’t. So if you ever see me writing the simplest thing down that’s why. Doing day to day things drain me, but I have to keep telling myself I got this no matter how long it may take. I’m always told if you do some exercise that would help. Well Mr. Smartass, it would also put me in a flare, give me more shortness of breathe, and drain all the little energy I do have. I walk from time time, but I can’t run to the gym and max out. Hell, push me the wrong way and I’ll have a bruise.
I live with multiple conditions that are due to my rape. For several years I allowed those conditions to hinder my life , I’ve told myself know more you are allowed to live. I had to set myself free from my mental prison, fear of this and fear of that. I live with not only fibromyalgia, but I also have PTSD, anxiety, endometriosis, bad ass sinus/allergy problems. Each day is a blessing and Throughout my blogs I will share and open up with you all. Apart of healing is sharing, I am on the journey of fully healing.